Tuesday 8 January 2019

Tie Brian down


I believe this is not the first time a cheesy b movie wins Golden Globe for the best drama film, but this is the first time I give a damn. The success of Bohemian Rhapsody, the story of Queen that never happened in life, makes us participate in the tragic irony of watching the story of a talent we were not lucky enough to witness living, transfer into a piece of worthless modern so-called culture. I could've just said that this movie is of poor quality, but I’m going to give a short presentation. Several months after its premiere.



This messy story jumps from a cheap trick to a cliché, misrepresenting the facts and their meaning. If you are a Queen fanatic like me, you know the facts, and you are not buying the “based on a real story” thing, as those little lies give us touches to the portrait of a shallow, silly and, erm, ordinary person. We feel the difference between a lie and fiction, and people who worked on this project had their purpose to build a shining fabulous fence around the band. Now you’ve got your perfect Freddie, a bit eccentric, but submissive, the one you can make wait outside the closed door. And the most pleasant thing, he won’t tell you to fuck off, darling. And this is meaner than playing Queen songs with Adam Lambert.

As far as I know, Brian May did not want the story to be too dark (too real) as Sacha Baron Cohen who had to leave the project, planned to play a more sexually driven, complicated character. But why twist your own biography when the reality was way more interesting and cinematic? What’s the point? Why skip the awesome story of their early years but claim they were the only band who helped achieve the financial target at Live Aid? How about David Bowie and Paul McCartney, who also played there, may I ask?

They wanted a classic heroic biopic, I get it. There actually was a huge space for the manifesto maneuver as the story of Freddie Mercury and the story of AIDS are inextricably linked. Freddie was the first celebrity of this caliber to die from AIDS, but the movie happens to be a mess even at this point. He was diagnosed in 1987, two years after the Live Aid concert, so no, he didn’t have to fight the disease to play there, and died in 1991, only five or six years before effective antiretroviral therapy became the new treatment standard, which is a total tragedy.

Even the title is a bore. Apparently, Walk the Line is an awesome movie title, and the movie itself is awesome. With a cool love story and in-depth analysis of characters’ motivation. Speaking about the Bohemian Rhapsody song, I’m not a member of one of the greatest bands in the world, but the thing about musicians I know for real is that they never talk to each other at work in terms of ‘give it more soul’. Pathetic morons and talent show participants do. Which brings us back to Adam Lambert.

And by the way, do you know you have to have family in this life? A perfect classic family like Brian May and Roger Taylor had (LOL). Fuck music, fuck songs, fuck your talent and world tours. Who would consider oneself full of life without kids and family dinners and everything?  As if music is not everything.